Even before the New Year arrived, I had a strong sense that this would be a year of transformations. It might have had something to do with me walking away from a ten-year career I thought I would be working at until I retired. I am sensing a year like no other I have had before, though last year was packed with changes, this year feels transformational. A year of learning, growing, sharing, caring, loving, and at the end of it, deep reflections of joy.
A wonderful tour guide of this year’s adventures has come into my life. I have followed this tour guide for years as he sends me daily messages of inspiration, reflection, thought provoking ideas, and love notes that feel and read like they have divine intelligence. I have also read most of his books over the years and I have just signed up for one of his training courses. A dream I have had for quite a few years. This course will take me on a journey to a new city and state I have not yet explored, and that is very exciting and rewarding. The mission and purpose of this event speaks to my own history of profession and expertise and I am hoping they tie in to each other and inspire me to combine the two to impact others in a positive manner. I also believe that the people I meet on this journey will become a whole new circle of like-minded souls to enhance my community, my future and my life. It feels like a whole new beginning to a whole new Universe of possibilities. I feel like a child again, being asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
It is a very strange experience to be approaching retirement and wondering what I will be when I grow up. I have a unique way of looking at life, and totally believe that I still have a lot of years to fill. When I turned fifty, I realized that I am less than half way to the final season of my life. I guess this was the beginning of realizing that I have so much more to do. To realize, to explore, to dream, to achieve, to give and to receive.
I feel a little overwhelmed and lost and wondering which road to go down next. I am letting my own internal GPS guide me down the next road, the next turn and the next destination. It is exciting, scary, and not easy for a woman who likes to feel in control of her life. I am learning to let go and let The Universe lead. That is not to say that the emotional fears don’t arise and make me want to jump back into old habits that have never really gotten me any-where except a pay cheque. Keep in mind, I could never disregard any of the careers I have had and all the amazing people I have had the pleasure of knowing along the way.
At this stage of my life, I am looking for a way to make bigger impacts in people’s lives. Every day I wake in Gratitude and ask myself how I can best serve today. I hope that my actions throughout the day lead me to those answers. Sometimes, I don’t see the result of that daily request for a few days, but I know that the intention of serving will ultimately come to fruition. I also look for signs. I ask for guidance and keep my ears and eyes open for any thing that might fit into my compass and anything that makes me smile or feel connected. This is a fun game. I live for those moments of clarity, of guidance and of love. It really feels like love. It is exhilarating, exciting, passionate, inspirational, warm and fuzzy. It feels like I have no control of my emotions and the only thing I can do is smile. Smile that goofy little smile that just makes others smile. When I see other’s returning that smile, it makes me smile wider and realize I have found one of my signs.
This is exactly what happened just before New Years and as I was guided to go down this whole new avenue of possibilities. I am still trying to figure out how they might all tie in together so that I am not wasting valuable time, but then I remind myself that there is no such thing as wasted time when you are following your heart and your signs. It is time that helps you stop, recognize the signs and enjoy the journey.